N: What do you think of P.'s motives?
Me: It all boils down to three ultimate goals for men. Money. Sex. Superiority.
N: OK, I get the first two. What do you mean by superiority?
Me: The quest to see whose pee-pee is larger, metaphorically speaking. Actually, literally as well..
N: Well, seeing as I don't have a pee-pee, I guess he wins that one.
Me: I guess.
N: But my existential pee-pee is much bigger than his.
Me: Existentially, you are most definately the better man.