Monday, April 9, 2007

Get down off the cross..... we need the wood for the fire.

{Note: Names have been changed to protect the identities of those involved}

The Date: Easter Sunday. Yes, that is correct; the day that Jesus miraculously walked out of the Cave of Death {doesn't that sound like a super-villain's lair?} after having died for our sins to rise again.

The Place: A living room, which may or may not {confidentially speaking} be located in my parents home.

The Scene: Night-time. The TV is blaring {possibly due to the fact that the man we'll call "The Cranky Buddha" is defiantly ignoring the fact that his hearing has All Gone Pete Tong} and a woman, whom we shall call "He said F" and whose name might very well rhyme with "calm" is watching "Extreme Makeover: The Home Edition".

The Show: Ty Pennington is comforting a portly single mother of two as she parades him around the shabby cardboard box that her family have been forced to inhabit after a nasty divorce. Her lips are blue and her teeth chatter as she points out the cling-wrap covered wall that was Wizard-of-Oz-ed over a year ago. Her heart is visibly heavy as she leads the crew into the Bathroom-That-Plumbing-Forgot and explains that the toilet doesn't flush and that her children are too embarrassed to have friends over lest they witness the shame. The camera shakes as it's handler is overcome with emotion.

The Point: It's tragic. Your heart bleeds for this woman. You think "Goodness, there but by the grace of God go I". You want to scoop up the whole family and kiss their boo-boo's. At least, that's what I was thinking.

The Comment: "He said F" {who in all fairness is one of the most giving, loving people one could be blessed to know} watches this unfold and turns to me, as I wipe the tears from my eyes and says "Well, they certainly aren't hungry. If I were her, I would cut the grocery bill in half, and get a plumber in".

The Response: After I choked on the disillusionment that comes when you realize that the person who may or may not be your "rhymes-with-calm" is actually a heartless Harpie, I laughed until my cheeks hurt from the effort. Because you have to respect that kind of logic. Even if it is Easter and you are an Irish Catholic.

What would Jesus do?

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