Monday, November 10, 2008

Things that struck my fancy today...

Because I am fickle and change my mind more often that a popular street-walker should change her panties, lists like these need to be updated.

So these are a few additions to the world that is moi.

1. The word "ska-douche". Pronounced, ahem, "skaaa-dooushhh", emphasis on the oooushhh at the end. Taken from the fantastically-fabulously-frantically-funny {and any other positive eff word you can pluck from your vocabulary} movie, "Kung-Fu Panda. I know not what it means and so I am consciously going to use it in a variety of situations, both positive and negative, so that the usage potential increases exponentially. Here are two examples:

I just caught the cat playing soccer with his poops again! I am torn as to how to respond to him because whilst I am trying to swallow the rising bile in my mouth, I also want to be encouraging because he is exercising and obesity is a growing problem. So I called him a "skadouche". But I furrowed my brows and wiggled the "do it again and I'll make you into mittens" finger in his face.


"Skadouche, honey! Thanks so much for doing the laundry. {And by "doing the laundry", I mean, giving up and and stop trying to navigate around the pile that has been growing like the SARS virus for a week now and admitting to yourself that when you reply " nope, I think I have enough clean underwear for another day", I am really hearing "Do not touch the dirty linens on pain of death, sweetness". You may now call me a f@%king skadouche under your breath, dear}.

2. The aforementioned movie, Kung-Fu Panda. A little on the short side, but that was only because I was really enjoying the amazing animation {I sound ancient when I say this, but I remember going to see Toy Story with my best friend when we were in high school and sitting in the theatre, mouths agape, at the sheer talent that it took to elevate cartoons into such works of art}, the giggle-worthy script, and {dare I say it? I do. } the heart-warming moral behind it all. I especially loved the fact that after R. and I sat down beside one another on the couch, with a blanket over our knees, the cat {aka. Rocky " the poop" Beckham} crawled up between us, and purred while watching the whole movie with us. It only occurred to me afterwards that he was probably enthralled because the only other panda he has even seen is his chewable puppet, aptly {and creatively...} named, umm, Panda. He was probably a little less "Awww, this movie is sweetly funny" and a little more "Awww, wouldn't it be sweet if I could sink my chompers into his jugular".

3. When R. makes popcorn. Because he makes it just right, and knows just to bring out the salt shaker with the bowl. Have I mentioned that I get my own bowl? In actuality, this is less because I am "special" and warrant it and more that because I add enough salt to leach the water from the earth quicker than global warming, no one wants to share with me. And that's just peachy avec moi.
4. It's finally getting cold enough to wear my pink fleece one-piece feetie pj's! They are electric pink with monkeys and palm trees and flowers all over them and I hearted them for months and although they are about as sexy as well, {you decide.... go over to & they are the puppies right in the middle}, R. ordered them for me. Have I mentioned they are feetie pj's???? They bring back memories of fall and winter evenings at the cottage after a day out with the horses and getting to stay up late with a mug of hot chocolate. Isn't it weird that we can't wait to grow up and then spend our entire adulthood trying to reconnect with our inner child? I wish I could call up younger me {on my prized pair-of-lips-phone-that-was-just-too-awesome-for-words-because-not-only-was-it-in-my-room-but-did-I-mention-that-it-was-shaped-like-a-pair-of-FREAKING-LIPS!} and let her know that I know that you developed young and no-one else has boobs yet and that you don't know whether or not to engulf yourself in a giant men's sweater or risk being given attention that you don't know how to handle, but that you will be plenty old soon enough and the boobs will still be there {well, approximately there, because gravity is a skadouche! }and that it's OK to stay a little girl for a little while longer.
Excuse me, but it's bedtime and I have a date with the past....

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