Casper the Ghost has got nuttin' on me....

Psssst.....

Wanna know a secret?

Do you?

Do you really?

Promise not to tell a soul?

Swear?

Cross-your-heart-and-hope-to-die?

Okay, then.

Here goes.....*ahem*

I am too WHITE for words.

{hangs head in shame}

I know, I know. It's shock-and-awing, a little scandalous, even disappointing, but there she blows, folks. So white it hurts.

And not just in the "My God, Vanilla Ice is like a a verifiable homie compared to her" kind of white.

Nope.

Although I regret to inform you that my street cred is hovering somewhere around Rainbow Brite's. I'm just saying.

Nope.

In the, as I was putting on a skirt this morning and contemplating sandals, and thus omitting nylons, my own legs blinded me, kind of way.

Truly.

I had to squint.

They are almost translucent. Albinos have more pigment that I do currently. It is as though the sun itself is so baffled by the alabaster chalk that is my skin tone at present that it's rays are reflected away in horror.

You know it's bad when you look at Nicole Kidman and think, Damn, girl looks like she's been on va-cay someone sunny, compared to me.